I really, really don’t. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and Paint.

Justin Bieber – according to my Facebook and Twitter feeds, everyone loves to hate him. There are probably a lot of people who love him too, but since I’m pushing 30, I don’t know any of those people.

Personally, I have a lot of trouble mustering up any strong opinions or feelings about the Biebs. He’s an artist that teens love but I just don’t get, and that’s about it. Teenagers have loved music that older people didn’t care much for since the dawn of time; it’s nothing revolutionary. He seems like an okay singer; not great, but definitely not terrible. His music itself is pretty bad, but it’s also pretty bland. It’s kind of like muzak or those songs they play when you’re put on hold; it blends in with the background. I can easily ignore it, which is pretty much all I ask of music I don’t like. Basically, it’s not really worth the time and energy it takes to be annoyed by him. I just don’t care.

“But,” you ask, “If you don’t care about him, why are you writing this post?”

Because, dear readers, you won’t stop talking about him. I don’t follow celebrity gossip and as I just said, I can easily ignore his music, but I can’t ignore the constant posts about him on my Facebook news feed. You are the only thing standing in my way of reveling in perfect, ignorant bliss about the existence of Justin Bieber, and I kind of resent you for it.

I forgive you a little bit if you live in Canada, because CanCon* laws mean that the same songs get played over and over again on the radio. When I lived in Canada, I even hated songs I liked after a while, just because I got so sick of hearing them repeatedly throughout the day. The rest of you, however, need to give it up and shut up. It’s like that Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where the advertisements come to life; if you don’t talk about him, he will go away. I mean, he won’t really go away, because teenage girls love him, but unless you have a 14-year old daughter or relative, you can pretend he doesn’t exist. Just sit back and let the bland music fade into the background. You’ll be happy you did.

In the meantime, find something truly grating to complain about. It’s not like there is any shortage of contenders.

*Canadian Content laws dictate that a certain percentage of the programming on radio and television stations must be Canadian in some way. The percentage varies depending on the station’s licensing, but is usually somewhere between 20 ad 40 percent. The system was established in 1971 to give Canadian artists the chance to gain exposure in their own country, which wasn’t happening too much at the time. I highly support CanCon and think it generally helps Canadian artists. I’d rather see these laws in place and have to listen to Nickelback 10 times a day than see Canadian artists struggling to get airplay in their own country.